Just feeling the feelings isn’t always the most beneficial solution. Sometimes when we feel the feelings they just get bigger and the thoughts get louder and we down spiral into a not-so-great place.
How often do you feel angry? Sad? Scared? Ashamed? Guilty?
Emotions come and go, but sometimes you’ll notice you have one main emotion that takes them all over. Anger and anxiety (which is fear in disguise) are the two I hear about most from my clients.
Here is something to try to not only FEEL the emotions, but also help it move along so you can go back to the other possibly more enjoyable emotions in life 🙂
As soon after you notice an emotion come up:
Try to NAME the emotion. If you can’t—-notice the feeling it’s creating in your body without giving it a label. (Ex. I feel a fluttering in my chest, I feel a tightening in my scalp, my stomach feels sick)
Acknowledge it—tell yourself “I am feeling (name emotion or feeling in your body) because (why you think you’re feeling this way) and that’s okay.”
Whatever you’re feeling at any moment IS okay. It’s your experience and you feel how you feel. There is no judgment in the feeling. It just is…
If you are new to feeling your feelings, allow yourself to sit in the feeling. Give yourself some time to really get to know what this feeling is. (It will make it easier to name your feelings when they come again later.)
Sometimes all your emotions need is the acknowledgment of their existence—-”I see you emotion and I love you just as you are.” Just as you want to be accepted in each moment without judgement, so do your feelings. It might sound kind of silly, but try it and see what happens!
And other times your feelings come with a purpose.
Ask yourself,
“What is this feeling trying to tell me?”
“Is there something going on here that I know, but don’t want to acknowledge?”
“What is this feeling trying to get me to do?”
Let yourself sit with the questions….see if an answer reveals itself. Is there an action to take?
And if you are feeling exceptionally courageous consider the possibility of taking action! (Make sure to check the facts so your action is coming from a grounded “wise mind” place, and not one of straight emotion).
Remember, emotions are here to help you, not hurt you. If you try embracing them instead of rejecting them you may see some pretty big changes in your world!
Have a beautiful day!
Chelsey
P.S. Send emails and share with me the big emotions you are challenged by. I’ll write an email based on how to address the most “difficult” emotion you face.
Feel free to reply to these emails anytime for support, feedback, questions or to schedule a session.
“It is when we have the courage to speak up and share our stories that we stop hiding ourselves from the life we are meant to live.” Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Copyright © 2020 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling
