“I had a good childhood,” she said.

“It was normal. I spent all my time with my horses. Oh, how I loved those horses.”

And her childhood was normal— it was normal because that is what she knew.

The sounds of her parents yelling. Normal.

Her father hitting her mother. Normal.

Never feeling safe. Normal.

When you grow up in this kind of a normal life, you adapt to your normal. And these adaptations become a part of who you think you are.

Yes, you may alter yourself, adjust, and modify your behavior, but that isn’t who you are. It’s what you do to exist, to keep moving forward, to make it through the days.

It is amazing to me that someone so small can do that. It’s brilliant, really. You did what you needed to do to survive.

And maybe now is a good time to say ‘thank you for helping me back then, but I don’t need you anymore.’

And then…discover your new normal.

Copyright © 2020 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling