We all have something we hide. Maybe it’s a fear, a shameful memory, a perceived flaw, or a wound that hasn’t fully healed. Whatever it is, we tuck it away, hoping no one ever sees it. We worry that if someone did, they’d judge us, reject us, or see us as less. So we keep it hidden—guarded, buried, carefully protected by layers of defense.

But what if the very thing we’re hiding is the key to the connection we crave?

In a world where so many of us feel alone, misunderstood, or disconnected, it’s often the parts of ourselves we fear showing that could actually bridge that gap. The vulnerability, the raw truth, the things we think make us unlovable—these are the same things that, when shared with the right people, can create deeper, more authentic connections.

The Walls We Build

When we keep our struggles, insecurities, or scars hidden, we might feel safer, but we also isolate ourselves. We wear masks to fit in, to appear strong, or to maintain a certain image, but these masks often prevent genuine connection. Ironically, while we’re busy hiding what we think is “too much” or “not enough,” others around us are doing the same, believing their own struggles are equally unique and isolating.

Yet, when one person is brave enough to reveal their truth, something powerful happens. The walls come down—not just for them, but for those who hear their story. In that moment of shared vulnerability, we see the humanity in one another. We recognize that we’re not alone in our fears or pain. And in that recognition, we find connection.

The Power of Shared Vulnerability

It’s easy to think that sharing the messy, unpolished parts of ourselves will drive people away. But the opposite is often true. Vulnerability has a way of drawing people in. It creates a space where others feel safe enough to be real, too. It’s in those moments of shared struggle, shared longing, or shared hope that real bonds form.

When we allow others to see what we’re hiding—our fears, our past mistakes, our regrets—we give them permission to do the same. We show that it’s okay to be imperfect, to be in process, to be human. And in that shared humanity, relationships deepen in ways that surface-level interactions never could.

Connection Through Our Hidden Truths

The next time you find yourself hiding something out of fear, consider this: what if someone else is hiding the exact same thing? What if, by revealing your truth, you could offer them the comfort of knowing they’re not alone? What if the thing you’re most afraid of showing is the very thing someone else needs to hear?

The parts of ourselves that we think are unlovable are often the parts that make us relatable. The thing you’re hiding might be the thing that someone else finds hope in, that someone else connects with, that helps them feel seen.

Embracing Our Wholeness

We’re all walking around with hidden parts of ourselves, but it’s in those hidden places that some of the deepest connections lie. It’s where the real stories live—the ones that resonate, that matter, that make us feel less alone in a world that can feel isolating.

The thing we hide away, convinced it’s too much or too dark, might just be the very thing that brings us closer together. Connection doesn’t come from perfection or pretending everything is okay. It comes from being real, being open, and trusting that our truths—messy as they may be—are the same truths that link us to one another.

So maybe, just maybe, the thing we’re most afraid to share is the thing that could set us free and create the bonds we’ve been longing for all along.

Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing

Copyright © 2024 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling