Have you ever found yourself reacting with a level of emotion that seems out of proportion to what’s actually happening? Maybe it’s a situation that most people would brush off, but for you, it feels intense, overwhelming—like it’s carrying the weight of much more than just that moment. If so, you’re not alone. This experience is more common than we think and often signals that the past has come rushing into the present.
When our nervous system encounters something that feels like a past hurt, it doesn’t always distinguish between then and now. The emotional charge from similar past experiences gets compounded, intensifying our reaction far beyond what the current situation alone might warrant. It’s like stacking layers of unresolved pain, fear, or anger, amplifying the pressure we feel today.
This phenomenon is often referred to as a “trigger,” but it’s more complex than just a reaction to a specific cue. It’s the convergence of different parts of ourselves—some stuck in the past, some managing day-to-day life—that struggle to integrate these unresolved emotions. This is where parts work and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) come in.
Understanding the Parts at Play
Imagine that your psyche is like a house with many rooms. Each room contains a different part of you—a part that holds memories, emotions, and beliefs. Some of these rooms might be welcoming, filled with parts that are confident, wise, or nurturing. But other rooms might be locked or dark, containing parts that hold deep wounds or fears.
When we experience intense emotions in response to a situation, it’s often because a wounded part of us is stepping forward. This part might have been formed during a time when we felt scared, powerless, or abandoned. It holds onto those feelings because, at the time, that’s how it kept us safe or made sense of the world. But when that part takes over today, it floods us with emotions that don’t quite match the present reality—they match the past, making everything feel more dire.
In parts work, we identify and get to know these different parts of ourselves. We learn how to engage with them with compassion and curiosity instead of judgment. Rather than trying to push them away or pretend they don’t exist, we invite them into conversation. What does this part need? What story is it holding onto? Often, simply acknowledging and understanding a part begins the process of healing.
Rewiring the Past with EMDR
While parts work helps us build a relationship with these different aspects of ourselves, EMDR works by directly addressing how past memories are stored in the brain and body. When a traumatic or distressing event occurs, the brain sometimes can’t process it fully. The memory gets “stuck” and continues to show up, not just as a memory but as a felt sense of danger or distress whenever something reminds us of it.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, like eye movements, taps, or sounds, to help the brain reprocess these memories. As the memory is reprocessed, it becomes less charged with intense emotion. You still remember what happened, but it loses its grip on you in the present. Over time, these memories integrate into your narrative without triggering the same overwhelming responses.
Changing the Pattern
When we combine parts work and EMDR, we’re addressing both the emotional layers and the stuck memories. Parts work helps us build trust with the parts that have been carrying these heavy emotions, creating a sense of safety and collaboration within ourselves. EMDR then works on healing the root memory, so that it no longer hijacks the present with old, compounded emotions.
Through this combination, we change the pattern. We learn to differentiate between what belongs to the past and what’s happening now. We give our inner wounded parts the support they needed back then, which frees them—and us—from having to relive those moments whenever something similar happens.
The next time you feel that surge of emotion, pause and ask yourself: Which part of me is showing up right now? What does this part need? And what memory might be tied to this feeling? With compassionate curiosity, you can start to untangle the web of past and present, allowing yourself to respond to today’s challenges with clarity instead of compounded pain. Healing is possible, and so is living fully in the present, free from the weight of yesterday.
Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing
Copyright © 2024 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling
