Growth isn’t something we just go through once and check off the list—it’s a continual process that keeps unfolding, often in surprising ways. In my work as a therapist, I’m reminded of this all the time. Just like my clients, I’m constantly learning, shifting, and expanding my perspective. Recently, as I’ve been training in the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), I’ve had the chance to re-examine my approach to healing in a way that resonates deeply not only in my professional life but personally as well.

Learning NARM has been transformative. It’s brought up a lot of reflections about how I’ve worked with people over the years, and maybe more importantly, how I’ve understood my own growth. In this model, healing trauma involves looking beyond just what happened to us and into how these experiences shape who we believe ourselves to be. It encourages a focus on identity, connection, and self-acceptance. And in the process, it offers a way to understand ourselves that is gentle and compassionate, allowing us to explore without judgment.

One of the challenges of embracing a new way of working is that it stirs up questions about what came before. It’s natural to wonder, “Was I doing enough? Was I doing it right?” But with NARM, I’m learning to view those earlier versions of myself as parts that were doing the best they knew how at the time, just as each of us does with our own past choices. It’s easy to judge ourselves harshly, to think we should have known more or been better. But what I’m finding in this work is a new way to hold all those parts with compassion and appreciation.

This deepening of my own understanding has been a humbling reminder that growth is never “complete.” Each new insight adds to what’s already there—it doesn’t replace it. I think that’s something all of us can connect to. We are all many versions of ourselves, each one layered on top of the last. NARM is simply expanding my toolkit, giving me a few more colors to paint with, and allowing me to offer an even more attuned space for the work of healing.

So, as I bring this new approach into my practice, I hope it’s something that speaks to everyone, whether you’re a potential client, a long-time client, or simply someone curious about what this path is all about. Therapy isn’t about “fixing” anyone; it’s about finding the places within ourselves where we can connect, soften, and heal. As we grow, we inevitably see parts of ourselves we hadn’t noticed before, some we’re proud of, others we might struggle to accept. But every part matters, and every part has something to teach us.

For those who resonate with this journey of personal growth, know that it’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to outgrow ways you once thought would last forever or to realize that there are even more layers to uncover. Therapy, and growth itself, is about expanding your capacity to meet yourself exactly where you are—and having a little more room for kindness along the way.

Thank you for being part of this journey. Here’s to all of us finding our way forward, one layer at a time.

Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing

Copyright © 2024 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling