Disclaimer: Before we delve into this discussion, it’s essential to acknowledge that we’re not advocating for staying in abusive or unsafe relationships. If you’re in a situation that threatens your physical or emotional well-being, please prioritize your safety and seek professional help and guidance.
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In life, we can find ourselves at crossroads, contemplating whether to cut out the “unhealed” folks or flee from “toxic” environments. It’s a decision many of us face at some point, often in moments of self-reflection.
Before we rush to judgment, let’s rewind and consider this: Have you ever been in their shoes at one point in time? Have your behaviors ever resulted in another person feeling hurt in a similar way?
The undeniable truth is that we all have those not-so-pretty habits and a collection of life stories that have uniquely shaped us. What if we could extend to others the same compassion and understanding that we seek from them?
What is it about these people you’re contemplating cutting off? Have you ever turned the mirror on yourself and searched for similar traits within? Often, when we dig deep enough, we find that we share some of the very qualities that we may be repelled by in others. (I know it can be painful to look, but it’s worth remembering.)
Sometimes, it’s when people leave us that we’re forced to take a hard look at ourselves. Other times, it’s when people love us through our own unhealthy coping mechanisms that we learn the invaluable lesson of self-acceptance and self-love.
Life is a carnival of unconventional and beautiful moments. We’re all riding different roller coasters, navigating through ups and downs, twists and turns. It’s all part of the incredible human experience, and none of us is exempt from it.
Now, here’s the intriguing part: if we go ahead and prune all the “unhealed” folks from our lives, creating our own tiny bubble of perceived perfection, how will we ever recognize our own flaws and discover areas where we need to grow? It’s like a game of hide and seek, but we’re the ones hiding from ourselves. Self-discovery often happens in relationship.
The truth is, we’re all a bunch of fixer-uppers, constantly under construction. Life’s an ongoing project, and we’re all on the journey of self-discovery, often revealing our unconventional sides along the way through relationships and experiences. So, perhaps it’s time to embrace the messiness and learn how to not to take other people’s characteristics so personally. After all, it’s in these unique traits that real growth is hidden!
Life is a wild ride, embrace the imperfections!
Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing
Copyright © 2023 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling
