The moment you step into therapy is not the beginning. The work has already started—long before the therapist asks a question, long before you put words to your experience. It begins in the noticing.
Noticing the tightness in your chest when you try to explain yourself.
Noticing the way your mind spins, searching for the “right” answer.
Noticing how you want to disappear when someone looks at you too long.
Noticing the heat of frustration rising before you even understand why.
The noticing itself is the work.
Because once you notice, you can’t un-notice. The patterns, the shifts, the way your body responds before your mind catches up. At first, it might feel frustrating—like seeing a mess you suddenly realize has always been there. But noticing isn’t the same as fixing. It isn’t about control. It’s about presence.
And presence is where change begins.
Therapy isn’t about finding the perfect words or arriving with a plan. It’s about stepping into the moment where something inside you starts to stir. The part of you that is aware, that is awake to what’s happening, even if it doesn’t yet know what to do with it.
At first, noticing might feel small, like catching a shadow out of the corner of your eye. But it grows. You start to see the ways you brace yourself before hearing a certain tone of voice. The way your shoulders pull in when you’re afraid to take up space. The way a simple question—What do you need?—can leave you blank and searching.
You don’t have to rush past this.
There is no requirement to understand everything all at once. The noticing is enough.
Because noticing is the invitation. It’s the thread you follow—not to force change, but to meet yourself where you are. To learn how to be with what arises, rather than running from it or shutting it down.
So when the therapist finally asks a question, when the conversation begins, you’ll already be in motion. Not because you have the answers, but because you’ve already begun listening.
And that changes everything.
Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing
Copyright © 2025 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling
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