So often we hide parts of ourselves from the people we care about the most.
Old shame can create such deep emotional wounds in the safe relationships we have today.

Shame dies in the light. When we share our stories in safe places we are released from the heaviness these stories hold.

Here is a story of what that can look like:

I gave him the story of my life. But first I ripped out the pages I didn’t like. I ripped out the ones that made me feel sad and the ones that made me feel mad. I ripped out the shame and I ripped out the guilt. And then, I gave him my story. It was short, but it was happy.

Then I tried to live just those parts of my story because I wanted him to love me. It got really hard. It was so exhausting. And then the sad came back, and the mad got bigger, the shame pulled me down and I couldn’t get out of bed.

“I want to know you.” he said. But the resistance grew stronger as the happy story I told him faded away.

“I want to know you.” he said. And when there was no strength left to try and hide what was no longer hidden, I gave him all the pages that I’d ripped from my story.

He looked quietly at them for a long time, looked up at me with the most joyful sparkling eyes and said “It’s nice to finally meet you” and he loved me more than ever.

Where is your safe place? Who is your safe person? Looking for a place to find that? Our retreats create safe places and safe people to connect with.

Copyright © 2023 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling