When I was little I remember my dad telling me “It’s in the hard times that we grow the most.” This set a foundation for me to stand on – and may have led to me searching out hard things on purpose just so I could grow.
In college, I found myself resentful and angry. My feelings had been hurt and I was devastated. My dad said, “forgive – it’s only going to hurt you if you hold on to it.” I remember asking him – “Can I forgive without telling the person.” My dad laughed and said, “if you can’t tell them-have you actually forgiven them?” This set the framework for a way to live my life.
I started working for my dad building houses in my 20’s. When I told my dad I was scared of heights, the first place he sent me was up in the rafters to spray paint lines for the depth of the insulation. I may have been cursing him under my breath that whole day for not being understanding – but what he really did was build my courage to do uncomfortable things.
When I told my dad I was going back to school to be a therapist he said, “Therapists are the ones that need therapy the most.” He brought attention to the ceiling I would continue to bang my head against if I didn’t do my own healing work.
When I called my dad because I messed something up he said “Chelsey, mistakes are just an opportunity for creativity.” He told me stories of his own mistakes and how the outcomes were better than if he’d never made them. He designed a path for me where failure no longer exists.
When I asked my dad to be a facilitator at the retreats I am hosting he said, “Who am I to teach anyone – I am just a carpenter.”
Copyright © 2022 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling
