In our quest to navigate the complexities of human relationships and self-perception, we often find ourselves torn between selfishness and selflessness. It’s a delicate balance, one that can feel impossible to strike. Today, I want to share a poem that captures this struggle and the journey towards self-acceptance and harmony. —

I Am Selfish.

I am selfish through and through.

In every way I look, albeit true.

Selfish is what I am willed to be.

This determined, then I will selfish-ly

Lie myself down and turn to dirt.

But, wait! This just makes someone else hurt

That too is selfish, and so I must not

Okay, maybe I’m not quite as selfish as I thought?

I think I’ll choose the selflessly selfish version

and lose myself in selfishly choosing

to put all things before myself

Hanging my own needs on the shelf

In turn, I form my need to run

Knowing I’m about to come undone.

The selfish bastard I have proven to be

leaves everyone behind so I can think about me.

Ah, the cycle of selfishness, hello old friend!

Every selfless act is always selfish in the end.

What if I just accept my selfish deeds?

And selfishly proceed with what I need?

Well, this would make me terrible,

and that, for me, is downright unbearable.

So what in the world can I do

to be what they need and love myself too?

I know what I have done is irreversible

Could I ever believe forgiveness is possible?

Selfish. Selfless….as I pause.

Can I find balance and embrace my flaws?

Could I allow myself to finally let go?

Making new space for me to grow?

Could I really be a better version of me?

No longer selfish or selfless, just free.

Could I be deserving of a life that gives

these old bones the capacity to live

In a world where I have been forgiven,

With a heart that’s light and spirit driven?

Embracing both the light and dark,

Finding strength within my heart,

No longer torn, but wholly seen,

Living life with a soul serene.

I am selfish, I am selfless, I am me,
Finally balanced, finally free.

**Reflection**

The poem “I Am Selfish” explores the internal conflict we all face when trying to balance our needs with the needs of others. It’s a journey from feeling selfish to recognizing the possibility of forgiveness and self-acceptance. The ultimate realization is that being human means embodying both selfish and selfless traits.

The key takeaway from this poem is the importance of finding balance. We often label ourselves based on our actions—selfish when we prioritize our needs, and selfless when we put others first. However, true balance lies in accepting that we can be both, and that this duality is not only normal but necessary for our growth and well-being.

**Embracing Both Sides**

As we navigate our daily lives, it’s crucial to remember that self-care and caring for others are not mutually exclusive. By acknowledging and embracing both our selfish and selfless sides, we can cultivate a healthier, more balanced approach to life.

Forgiveness, both from others and ourselves, plays a vital role in this process. It’s about letting go of past mistakes and understanding that we are all capable of growth and change. By doing so, we free ourselves from the guilt and shame that often accompany our selfish actions, allowing us to move forward with a lighter heart.

**Living Free**

Ultimately, the poem reminds us that we are deserving of a life that allows us to be free—free from the constraints of labels and judgments. By accepting ourselves wholly, flaws and all, we can live a life that is not only fulfilling but also genuinely reflective of who we are.

So, let’s strive to find that balance, to embrace both the light and dark within us, and to live with a heart that is both selfish and selfless. In doing so, we can truly be ourselves—finally balanced, finally free.

Embracing Shadows, Illuminating Hope,
Chelsey Fjeldheim, LCSW
Empowering Souls on the Path of Healing

Copyright © 2024 Chelsey Fjeldheim, Courage Speaks Counseling